Well, it's been awhile since my last post (and honestly this does not surprise me... I tend to be a sporadic record keeper) but I mostly blame my wedding and high school reunion plans. The reunion is tomorrow and soon my efforts can be completely focused on just one thing. (after I register for classes, that is...)
It's amazing how many marriage experts exist in my midst. It seems that everywhere I go, people have figured out the best way to stay married. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I find the info to be quite useful, and even when it's not, the entertainment value is still pretty high.
Take, for example, my dad's old (very old) mission companion who stopped by for a random visit. He's in town from California for his 9th of 10 kids' wedding. After a quite intense (and lengthy) "discussion" about the speculated whereabouts of certain Book of Mormon sites, this white-haired, X-elder turns to us and says something about how he used to be a marriage counselor for the church and has some advice for us. "Fine, let's hear it", I think. Is he planning to take this to the "just do whatever she wants and you'll be happy" extreme we got from my bishop, or will it be more like the old classic "don't go to bed angry"? I quickly discovered that he had only one thing he was concerned about... "When you're on your honeymoon, take it slow and start from the top, working your way down". Wow, not exactly what I was expecting.
My hair dresser gave me a lot of advice about buying furniture. Some of it pretty practical, depending on where I end up living... Something I had never thought of was the suggestion of buying a kitchen and dining table that are of the same height and width (even exactly the same, if you can) so that during holidays you can just push them together and seat a large crowd. She also emphasized going into debt to get the entire couch set because "by the time you save up enough money to get the last chair, they won't be making it anymore!" Don't bother with love seats- they're not big enough if you have sons, who like to sprawl :) Definitely get a recliner so that when you're pregnant, you can put your feet up; but don't get the kind that is a part of the couch because your husband will always sit there and it will be uncomfortable to cuddle with him. Priceless gems, eh?
I think my favorite thing she told me (I was quite surprised she did, as she had to bend down and whisper it so others couldn't hear) had to do with leaving a "surprise" in her husband's suit pocket when he went on a business trip as a friendly reminder of his loving wife. However, he reached into his pocket and didn't notice it, and when he pulled his hand out, it flew onto the floor and several people bent to help him pick it up. He then found himself needing to explain why he had a pair of red panties in his suit pocket. Tee hee.
Anyway, though I'm pretty sure nobody who reads this is married (all 3 of you), I thought I'd encourage anyone to comment with their favorite piece of marriage advice.
1 comment:
I've heard an awful lot of marriage advice, partly because I used to do wedding gigs. It ranged from the ho-hum
- Always say you're sorry even if you're not wrong.
to the classic (?!)
- Don't ever eat garlic unless both your husband eats it.
to the sublime
- The best way to stop a fight is to take off your clothes.
My favorite relationship philosophy is the 5 Love Languages (read the book by G. Chapman). I talk about it incessantly. I just like it so much because I find it very useful for understanding and talking about the nuances and chasms between the way people express and receive love.
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