Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sorry, this one's long...

Today I discovered something I hope none of you have to learn about first-hand.

Never put a disposable diaper in the washer with your laundry.
Especially a dirty one...

Why?  Why would I put a dirty, disposable diaper in the washer with my laundry?

I didn't.

It all started last Friday night.  It was a normal night for our family.  I had just nestled myself comfortably in my soft, cool sheets, a bit later than I anticipated.  After reaching that fuzzy phase where I can sense that I'm going to dream pieces from the movie I just watched/book I've been reading/project I've been working on when I heard a frantic wail from The Frog's room.

Still normal.

I go into The Frog's room, expecting the usual "it's-not-morning-yet,-please-go-back-to-sleep.-I-love-you-goodnight," but as soon as I came into the room and saw a scrawny, shadowy figure standing on his bed, I knew something was different tonight.

The Frog: My elbow! My elbow!!!!  I hurt my elbow!!!

I decide to turn on the light.
I turn around and, to my surprise, this shadowy figure is now just a helplessly despairing and completely naked little boy.  Of course my initial response:

Me: Where are your clothes?
The Frog: My elbow!! My ellllbooooowwwww huuuuurrrrttttsssss!

I still don't really know what was wrong with his elbow (slept on it funny?), but I picked up that shaky little boy, slipped on a new diaper and pjs, discovered the old ones in a heap on his bed, just out of reach to a sopping mess.  New bedding later, The Frog finally seems to have overcome his ailment and declares:

"I walk carefully back to bed now".

Good idea.

That's it.  The next day was our fun Easter Egg Hunt and that night, I decide to check on The Frog before going to bed to make sure all is dressed.

All wasn't.

Now what?  Never wake a sleeping Frog- that's what I always say.  So Jay and I put on our stealthy spy hats and performed operation: replace-diaper-to-the-light-of-a-cell-phone-without-waking-toddler-and-call-it-good.  RDLCPWWTCIG for short.

Operation RDLCPWWTCIG was a miraculous success and we went to bed confident.

Hours later I was woken by, yet again, a naked toddler who at least didn't need new bedding.  I was able to get him to put on pants, but he refused the shirt.  (Hence the shirt-less Easter morning pics.)

The next night I finally told him to stop taking off his clothes (which he ignored...) and had to yet again change his bed and clothes.

The next night (Tuesday), when I redressed him he told me that this time he put his old diaper in the garbage and his old pjs in the hamper.  I admit, in an odd, twisted way, I was somewhat pleased.  But I should have thought to ask, "what happened to your pjs and diaper from last night?"

I found out.

Long story less long- he put them all in the hamper and somehow I missed the diaper when I moved his things to the washer.

I blame sleep deprivation...

After the cycle, I opened the washer door and my first thought was,
"Oh no!  What's that smell?!  Is our washer growing mildew or something?"

As I started transferring the clothes, I saw it: a huge, gelatinous mass of what looked like clear polenta.  Or instant tapioca.
And then I saw another pile.
And tapioca sprinkles decorated the rest of the contents.
And then I saw the culprit-
a diaper which had been spun to death and could no longer fulfill its containment duties.

After shaking out all the clothes, and using dozens of paper towels, disinfectant and baby wipes inside the washer and on the tile floor, (okay I admit it, I couldn't help but notice how dirty the grout was and kept going...) I finally threw everything back in to be rewashed.  Everything meaning the clothes.

And now you know what happens when you wash a dirty disposable diaper.

The end

(Or not?  For those of you who care, that last night written of was the last *knock on wood* of the nudity incidents.  I finally threatened to take away his movie watching privileges and he got the hint.)

1 comment:

Jennie said...

A story you may laugh at at some future date, but probably not today. :) What to do about these crazy toddlers? I'm with you on the sleep deprivation... when does THAT get better?